Sunday, March 26, 2006

Dismantling

I watch my life dismantled day by day. Bits go here and bits stay there. Some I'm glad to see go and some tears me apart. I got the keys for the apartment on Friday night and Ryan and I took a load up. Yesterday the girls came and we moved my trees and bushs that I had in pots up to the apartment balcony. My porch swing won't fit so when we got back we took it apart and loaded it into the truck and Jude and I will use it at work. At least I'll still have it but as each bit goes in different directions it sets off another crying spree. I take myself into the bathroom and have a cry and wash my face and head back outside to pretend all is fine. I'm sure nobody is fooled but it's easier than standing there and bawling as my stuff drives away.

Knowing that Al is on the island with his girlfriend having fun while I'm standing here dealing with all of this makes it so much worse. My favorite spot in the world, the place I asked him to take me to so many times.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have been through a lot. It seems the grief of the loss is now with you. It will pass.It is good to move through the process. They say we become stronger at the broken places.
Hope your brand new living space becomes a a sheltering sanctuary.

Spring is in the air.

Denise

david loren said...

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think!
Words of wisdom spoken by Cristopher Robin to Pooh bear.

Sue, Toronto said...

Dismantling, and also rebuilding. You have stong foundations within you. Thinking of you,
Sue