Friday, March 03, 2006

Apartment hunting

I saw the doctor on Tuesday. He was shocked that Al had left. So obviously Al hasn't been to see the doctor as he told me he was planning on doing. The doctor asked me what I wanted to do and was I going to go back and see the specialist in the next few weeks. I said there wasn't much point really as he has nothing to offer me except for the treatment I have already been through. I said I have to work and my doctor knows how sick I got last time and he asked me if I wanted to go on assistance and do the treatment. I said no. He said you have to work? I said yes I have to. So he sent me for all my bloodwork and said we'll monitor it closely. He couldn't give me anything to help me sleep as he says none of it is good for my liver. He doesn't even really like me to take tylenol. So that's fine. I'll monitor for the time being while I get moved and settled someplace and then I'll pick the best time to be off work for a few weeks if I need to be and we'll go from there.

Al phoned David for his birthday but Josh says he phoned him a few days ago and he never got back to him and Ryan phoned him and he didn't call Ryan back either. He's been drinking alot and made a point of telling me how much he enjoys being able to have a drink each night and not have a wife to make a comment or "change her attitude towards me" I grew up in an alcoholic home and have never really liked to be around drinkers. I quit drinking myself years ago before I found out I had Hep C. I have never told Al he couldn't or shouldn't drink. But when he does get drinking and I can start to tell I withdraw from him. The few times I've talked to him he's been polite but distant. Most emails I get a one or two word response from him. I guess this is because I asked him not to give me any more explanations as to why he felt he had to leave the way he did.

Ryan and I will be out apartment hunting tomorrow and we'll see what's out there. I want a place where I can have a kitty eventually. I would like a balcony or patio big enough to have my porch swing on and a few of my potted trees. I also want to be able to afford it myself when Ryan moves out eventually and not have to move again any time soon if I find a nice place that I like. I'm trying to stay central to where I am as well. Close to shopping, the library, doctor and bank.

I'm fighting a wicked cold right now and my voice is just about gone. My throat is killing me and I think I'm going to go and have a bubble bath and go to bed and watch Amazing Race that I taped and this weeks soaps that I also tape. I watch General Hospital and One Life to Live. Some days I watch them all and some days I fast forward through them and see if anything looks important. It's mindless entertainment and distracts me somewhat.

Corina was out to spend a few days with Josh and they phoned and invited me over for dinner and we looked at a lot of the pictures from Goa. Really looks gorgeous. She brought me a medallion and prayer card from Mother Teresa's house in Calcutta. Very nice to have even though I'm not a catholic, I was and am a fan of Mother Teresa.

My chemo buddy graduated!! He is finished treatment, in remission and gaining strength. I am so happy for him. He is just coming up for his 18th birthday and will probably be graduating this year or next. I hope he never needs the services of chemo angels again! I resigned from the program for now as I have a cousin who has recently been diagnosed with cancer so I think I'll direct my efforts sending him a card every week. Well that's it for me. I'm exhausted, it's been a long week.


Sue, Toronto said...

Hi Anne,

Must tell you, reading your blog I'm overwhelmed by your determination, organization and ability to plan for what you know is right for you. Despite chronic health issues and experiencing life changing personal circumstances, you demonstrate incredible fortitude. It is surely draining at times, but I am really inspired by your strength. You rock.

Hope you find a suitable apartment and that sleep improves. I still use aromatherapy (lavender,or vetiver drops on the pillow case), to help me with any insomniac nights.

Also grew up in an alcoholic home and completely get your position on heavy drinking.

Congratulations to your chemo buddy! You are a very special chemo angel. Am sure your cousin will be touched by your caring, as well. Your giving of yourself is a remarkable gift Anne.

Thinking of you,

Elizabeth Anne said...

Hi Sue,

Thanks for the comments and for the tip about the aromatherapy. I'll look into finding some of the drops you mentioned.