Well today my life fell apart. My husband doesn't think he wants this anymore and for the time being while he figures it out, he has moved out. Right up until Tuesday I thought we had a good rock solid marriage. Maybe that proves that I haven't being paying enough attention. He is a good man and has done a wonderful job of helping me raise the boys. He put up with a year of treatment where I was so sick that for much of it I was not functioning. Maybe the burden of doing this for another year was just too much for him to contemplate right now. I just don't know.
I've decided to put off treatment for the time being as I have no idea what is going to be happening for the next little while. I cannot risk being too sick to work when I may be relying on only my paycheque. I have to take some time and figure out what happens next. If the split becomes permanent then I have to move into a smaller place that I can afford and I don't want to be trying to do that either while on treatment. One day at a time for the next while.