It's taken me a week to get over Al's last email and the things he's said. I emailed him and asked him to please not give me any more explanations. I am sure he has not set out to be cruel and he is only trying to explain to me why he is doing what he's doing but in the process he has said some very hurtful and hard to forget things. I tried to put them out of my mind but they just pop back over and over and reverberate in my head. I cried my way to work and home all week. (I love James Blunt but he is probably not who I should be listening to right now) But by today I was finally starting to be able to get past it. I will never be able to forget the stuff he's said but I can at least get on with things and try not to let them interfere.
He is coming over on Saturday to clean the garage out so I can go through the stuff of mine that's in there and then he's going to store stuff in there until I move out. I hope he doesn't plan on living here for too long when he does move in. Ryan and I want to stay in our community here and it's not that big a town. I have nightmares about running into him and a woman around town when I'm shopping or at the mall, doctor or library. I am sick about having to leave both my dogs behind and that is just one more thing I keep imagining, running into him and a woman out with my dogs. God this sucks so badly. Ok deep breaths and no more whining.
Today is Christina's 3rd birthday. I called her from work and sang her Happy Birthday and I got half way through before she started yelling Grandma Grandma I'm three years old and how come you are at your house. I said I wasn't at my house I was at work and asked her if she wanted to go out with me on Saturday. She's all excited. I think we may go shopping and then I'm going to take her to the wave pool here in town. They have a nice area for little kids and I can just sit in the water and let her play. Afterwards we are going to go out for dinner with Uncle Josh and Uncle Ryan. She loves her uncles and she will love being the centre of attention and having both uncles there.
Last night I actually managed to sleep until 5 this morning and only woke up two or three times during the night. I was starting to hate 4 am. What the hell does a person do at 4 in the morning? I hated lying there as my mind just went over things and round and round so I would get up and come to the computer. Pogo :) Good gaming site. I am up to $30 in Swap it.
I finally made a doctor's appointment with my family doctor for Tuesday after work and I'll go and get bloodwork done. Feeling kinda crappy and tired but I think that is probably to be expected. My liver is letting me know it's there.