Apartment

Found an apartment and I'm really happy with it. Adult complex. Hidden in the trees and very private. We are on the back of the 3rd floor of building C which is the one farthest away from the freeway and the view out my bay window in the living room would probably look out towards an indusrial area if you could see it through the trees. (A little morning sun and then shade the rest of the day which is perfect) It has a green space with lawn that runs around the back of the building that I look down on and then beyond that is huge big trees that even without leaves blocks out the industrial area and beyond. The lady (Esther) says when the leaves grow it is absolutely secluded and beautiful. It is layed out with the kitchen and livingroom running down the middle of the apartment and the bedrooms on either side. Mine has a walk through closet and a nice ensuite bathroom. There is a bit of storage in the laundry area and a hook up for an upright washer and dryer if I should decide to get one and it would hold a small freezer as well. There is a laundry room also on the main floor with I think 7 washers and 7 dryers so we don't need to have a washer and dryer in the suite. The rent is $765 a month and then $15 a month for underground secure parking. I have to go back today to sign the lease and give her a money order for the damage deposit and the deposit for my parking remote and parking key. Only people that are actually parking in the underground have access to it which is also nice. A dry spot to unload groceries etc on those wet cold days. The place is empty now so I may be able to start slowly moving stuff in over the next week or two. I'll try and take some pictures and post them. I can have a small animal there too if I pay another half month damage deposit. Eventually I will think about it. Right now I'm just worrying about leaving my dogs behind here.

I'm totally exhausted and stressed to the max and having a hard time keeping control of my emotions for the most part. I am constantly feeling like I want to just throw up. I am crying at the drop of a hat and even embarassed myself yesterday at the place when the lady asked why I was moving. I promptly burst into tears but she was very understanding and told me not to worry about it and she gave me a big hug which just made me cry more. I am a walking zombie today and still not able to sleep more than a few hours at a time. Tomorrow after work Jude and I are heading to Merritt for the night to take Paige home and we plan on being back by dinner time on Saturday. When I finally get moved I think I'm going to crawl into bed for the weekend and just watch movies and vegetate. My mom is starting to freak out and is trying to talk me into going to the doctor to get pills of some sort. I just keep telling her I just need to get moved and then I can relax a bit. Right now I just can't relax at all, I am either packing or pacing or working. I need to feel in control of what is happening right now. I'm back to the Serenity prayer and just trying to get through the days one day at a time by putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward.